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Unending Facets
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September 2006
October 2006
December 2006
credits
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ahh, the third chapter.
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I added Elise as the speaker in the sunglasses to establish that Tom's memory of her had been erased. The movie is there at all to make it seem more like a real corporation. For instance, Walgreens has the lamest/funniest movies when you start working there. MentalWorks is the name of the government organization that conducts the surgeries. I probably could have made that more clear in chapter one...
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mmmyes.....mayhap.
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and now i'm freaked out a little bit. seizures always do that to me.
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This is better than the X-Files, and I never even really watched that show!
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good start so far, CS. ^^ aside from general spelling and grammar, i can dig it. Although the paragraph about the boy in the red fog a bit unclear (doesn't take away from the whole story though).
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I would prefer the writing to not be centered, but I'm not sure where I fix this.
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Did you say the paragraph about the fog boy was UNCLEAR? Hehe...
*stares at gourdy* 9.9
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Mwahaha! A new story!
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and I have comments. ^_^
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faded
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Tom awoke in a room entirely different from the one he had last been in. He turned his head to look around. This room was larger, complete with a dresser, mirror, and all the usual furnishings of a bedroom. He sat up, and tentatively bent his legs to his chest. It didn't hurt, and he realized that nothing hurt at all. He felt wonderful.
He found a bathroom and saw it too was just like any other bathroom. Unsure of what else really to do, he took a shower. While he washing, he heard the bathroom door open. Sticking his head out from behind the curtain, all he could see was an arm placing clothes on the sink counter. Before he could thank the arm the door was swiftly closed. He finished and got dressed.
His clothes were the first abnormality. They were pure white, a tunic and comfortable pajama style pants, with white sandals. He looked in the mirror and grimaced. I look like a marshmallow. He sighed and went to figure out where in the world he was. Outside of his bedroom there was a regular looking living room, with a couch and a plasma screen TV. He heard a knock at the door across the room. He walked over to it and opened it. He ogled at the very large man on the other side.
He stood at what must have been seven feet tall, and was the strongest looking person he had ever seen. He had brown hair and was wearing normal clothes. Tom was glad that the stranger was smiling or he might have shut the door as quickly as he could. The man said, "Hey there, roomie! I'm Jeff. Who are you?"
"Uh, Tom. Where are we?"
Jeff ducked under the doorframe and entered the room. He walked over to the couch while he talked. "What, they haven't even given you the intro yet? Wow, no wonder you look confused." Tom shut the door and followed Jeff to the couch in the living room. Jeff's massive frame took up almost the entirety of the couch. Tom was about to ask another question when he heard another knock at the door. Jeff picked up a nearby remote and turned on the TV. He turned to Tom saying, "You gonna get that?"
Tom went over to the door and thought, What am I, the butler? On the other side of the doorway stood another man, in a business suit. He did not smile, but he offered a hand out to Tom. Tom shook his hand, and the man said, "Hello Mr. Gilroy, may I come in?"
But Tom had had enough. "What is going on?! Who are you people, and where am I?" Jeff snickered on the couch.
The man walked into the room, taking the outburst in stride. I understand your confusion, Mr. Gilroy, so please try to calm down while I explain things. The man saw Jeff on the couch. "Mr. Freed. Will you excuse yourself please? I need to go over a few things with Mr. Gilroy."
"Aw come on Doc! The game just started and--"
"Mr. Freed. Have you received some sort of accolade that I have not been informed of allowing you to not take orders from me? No? Then leave the room please." Jeff threw up his hands and got off the couch. He walked over to the TV, picked it up, and took it into the bedroom. He slammed the door. The man sighed. "You will have to excuse his manners. My name is Doctor Johnson. I would like for you to watch a little movie that will answer a few of your questions." He handed Tom a pair of sunglasses and gestured towards the couch. "Have a seat, please." Tom walked to the couch and sat down.
He looked at the sunglasses. "Are you serious?"
"I rarely joke, Mr. Gilroy. Now if you would put them on, please."
Tom put the glasses on. The lenses suddenly turned on, and an image of a woman in a lab coat appeared. She was blond and thin, and quite pretty. Tom thought he recognized her, but dismissed the thought. The woman smiled, and began to speak.
"Hello. My name is Dr. Appleby, and if you are seeing this, then you have completed your mental surgeries. Your healing process has been completed, and you have been sent out to your specific worksite. You have signed a contract agreeing that you will offer your services to whichever program has been chosen for you," Tom thought that the sunglasses squeezed against his head, but he ignored it and kept watching, "...and will operate by the guidelines established by the program. Your advisor will go over the specifics of your new life. Thank you, and welcome to the MentalWorks family." The lenses went black and Tom removed the sunglasses, handing them to Dr Johnson. "I had a mental surgery? I've never heard of that before." Dr. Johnson pocketed the sunglasses and replied, "Yes, it is a relatively new procedure, but completely safe, I assure you. Now Mr. Gilroy, you do remember signing the contract concerning working with us, correct?
"Yes, I...," an image flashed in his mind of him in an office signing papers, "I signed them before I had the surgery."
Dr. Johnson smiled. "Good. Now as you saw in the film, an advisor will go over the specifics of your new life with us. You will meet him later today. For right now, I have a few safety guidelines to go over with you. We would like if you would refrain from leaving your apartment until you have met up with your advisor. Also, do not be alarmed if you feel any tingling or odd sensations during your first few weeks here, it is just some after effects from the surgeries. Lastly, if you feel you are in serious pain, tell your roommate and he will take care of you." He stuck out his hand again to Tom and said, "Welcome to the company." Tom shook his hand and said, "Thank you." The doctor left soon after. Tom just sat there on the couch in silence. He recounted what had just happened in his mind. The warning about serious pain made him nervous, but he hoped that it was just business-fineprint-mumbo jumbo. A bellow from the bedroom roused Tom from his thoughts.
"Nooo! You should have had that. WUSS!"
Tom put his head in his hands and sighed. He had so many questions. I hope my "advisor" will be able to clear this up... I feel like I'm in college again. This is so bizarre.
Jeff poked his head out from behind the bedroom door. "Is he gone? Awesome. Help me hook this back up." He sat the TV next to the wall and walked back to the bedroom. Tom got up off the couch and fiddled with the wires, eventually getting it back in working order. He spent the rest of the day with Jeff, watching football or just talking about nothing. It was freakishly normal considering what had just occurred, and Tom knew he should be worried by the severe juxtaposition in events, but he didn't. Someone from the company brought their meals to them, and all in all, the day passed quickly. Jeff was still watching TV when Tom went to bed. He dreamed about something horrible and woke up in a sweat, unable to remember what the dream was about. Something about a voice. He looked across the bedroom and saw the impossible.
Jeff was asleep, snoring in a stretched out position. And he was levitating three feet off the ground.3 Comments:
the sunglasses movie is pretty neat, but i'm not sure why it was really needed - Dr. Johnson could've told Tom everything in person without Dr. Appleby having to in the movie sunglasses. i can understand it if you want to keep up the sci-fi ambiance. perhaps it would help if Dr. Appleby went on to explain MentalWorks a little more (unless you're saving that for late). ^^
psykadelicbutterfly, at
6:40 PM
CheeseShaman, at
10:02 PM
psykadelicbutterfly, at
3:20 PM
A voice roused Tom Gilroy from his sleep. "Wake up, Tom."
Groggily, Tom mumbled, "...Cassie?"
"I'm afraid not, Mr. Gilroy. My name is Dr. Appleby. I have a few questions to ask you, if you feel you can speak." Nodding slightly, Tom sat up in his bed to view his interrogator. She was a thin pretty blond woman, with a stethoscope around her neck. She held a clipboard to her chest as she looked at him. Besides the stool she sat on, there were not any other pieces of furniture in the room. She looked down at her clipboard and asked, "How are you feeling today? Is there any soreness on your shoulder or arms?"
Tom took a moment to look over himself. His shoulder did ache a little, and there were bandages on his arms, but he felt good otherwise. "Where am I?" he asked.
"I'm asking the questions, Tom, and you still need rest, so we need to finish this quickly. Now, can you bend your legs for me?" Confused, Tom bent his legs up. He winced as they locked up. "I can't move my legs any more. Dr. Appleby, what is going on?" Sighing, she set the clipboard on the bed. "I am doing a check-up on a patient who had some very intensive and expensive surgeries. I am trying to determine where you are in your healing process, so that I can see whether or not we need to aid you with medicine. Now just answer the questions please." She picked up her clipboard and started again. "What do you remember of your life Mr. Gilroy?"
He felt a twinge inside his head. "Uh... I remember everything, I grew up in Pennsylvania, went to college at Brown, moved on to a career in...uh..." There was another twinge, sharper this time. He put his hand to his head. Now his eyes were starting to water. "I don't know, maybe something for the government? Something important, uh..." "That's enough for now Tom, you don't have to--" "Wait, someone important, I was protecting someone important! It was... a woman! Who was she--" An explosion of images flew through his mind. A brown haired woman handing him some papers. The same woman smiling across from a table, then at a house, now they were at a lake, a huge fire, a man in all gray, a face. His face. Needles arcing across his line of vision.
"Mr. Gilroy, are you alright? Tom, I need you to say something. Tom?" Tom heard nothing, all he could see were needles moving in slow motion towards him. He started spasming in his bed, writhing and clawing at his back. Dr. Appleby jumped back, but then pulled a syringe out of her lab coat. She grabbed onto his arm and injected him with a sedative. He turned his head towards her, already feeling the effects of the sedative. His expression was distant when he said, "I couldn't save you." Then he collapsed onto his pillow, completely knocked out.
Elise stepped back from the bed, finger on her lip, thinking. An intercom popped on, and a voice asked, "Should we wipe more from his mind?"
"No, if we erase too much we may stunt his mental growth. Let's watch his progress some more and if it's absolutely necessary we will erase more. Call in to Mr. Johnso--"
She stopped mid-sentance when smoke started creeping out from under Mr. Gilroy's sheets. She rushed over and lifted his covers away from him. The smoke was coming from his chest. Lifting his shirt off, she saw a word being written on his flesh. The writing was cursive, and when it was finished, it read, "Cassie", directly onto his left breast.
"Vern, call in Dr. Hazel please."
"The plastic surgeon?"
"Yes, we can't have this causing problems with his development. Her memory would only interfere with our desired result." She walked out of the room, and the lights dimmed in Tom's room. Light flickered from beneath his eyelids.2 Comments:
very nice - feeding little bit by little bit to the reader. A minus.
^_^
psykadelicbutterfly, at
8:34 PM
A black SUV drives along a newly-paved road in eastern Montana. Two men sitting in the back of the vehicle talk in hushed tones, while a man in a lab coat drives. They arrive at a long fence covered with various warnings towards trespassers. The man in a lab coat flashes a badge, and they are waved through by a pair of guards. The man in the coat turns to his passengers, "We'll be there in just a moment Mr. Avery."
"Thank you, Vern."
After a few miles, the vehicle pulls up at a gray windowless building, what appeared to be a school. A gust of cold air burst out of the building as the three men entered. The group is greeted by a thin blonde woman holding a clipboard named Elise. Mr. Avery and Elise engaged in the usual small talk that business people always enjoy. The man with Mr. Avery remained silent. Vern parted with the group saying he had work to do. As he walked away, Elise motioned for the two gentlemen to follow her.
They walked through several hallways, passing many doors with small square windows, allowing a meager view of their contents. Mr. Avery looked in one that had caught his eye, a room that appeared to be full of a red fog. Leaning in he saw a boy sitting on the ground. The boy looked up, and upon seeing Mr Avery, exploded into a wisp of red fog. Mr. Avery jumped back, agast. Elise put a hand on his shoulder saying, "If you would just follow me, please." She smiled, and they continued through the hallway. A face in the fog watched them walk away.
They stopped at room 148. Elise opened the door and asked the gentlemen to enter. The went into a room that was much like an interrigation chamber observation room. It was bare except for a few chairs, and a large pane of glass seperated them from the adjacent room, where a slew of scientific instruments were spread around the room, monitoring a man lying in a bed. The prone man was not conscious.
"Is this him?" Mr. Avery asked, walking close to the glass partition. Elise turned to a few pages on her clipboard, answering, "Mr. Tom Gilroy, unit number 13-2-01. His procedure was completed not but 20 minutes ago. He will be out for a couple of days. The changes should start to occur by then." The man with Mr. Avery finally spoke. "What kind of results should we expect? Perhaps you could show us someone else? I want to be sure of what we're dealing with.
Elise flashed her business smile at the man and walked to the glass. "Mr. Gilroy is the first to have this specific sort of mental alteration. We have a general idea of what to expect from him, as we have sent you in our report when you first decided to have this procedure done, Mr. Johnson, but as to the specifics, we are unclear. His physical alterations will take more time to emerge, and are entirely based upon his mental progress." At Mr. Johnson's frown she added, "But I can ensure you he is not a hazard to your cause."
Mr. Avery then leaned very close to the glass. "What is that?" he asked. A quick glance from Elise and she started ushering the two men out of the room. "We will send you a progress report as soon as possible. I will have Vern show you the way out. Thank you for your patronage." Before she shut the door on the now irritated pair, Mr. Avery saw scientists rushing into the room where Mr. Gilroy lie. His left shoulder was bleeding as something writhed out of it. Soon after the door slammed close, an intercom voice called for assistance in room 149, and for Vern to head to room 148. Mr. Avery looked at Mr. Johnson, who just shrugged, "This is not a setback Jean, let's not worry about it. Come on, let's see if they have anything to drink somewhere in this freak show, eh?" Mr. Avery shook his head, but followed along next to Mr. Johnson. They met up with Vern, who told them he would be glad to get them something to drink.
Later that evening, after Mr. Johnson and Avery had left, Elise met with Vern in room 148. She had lost her fake smiles, and wore a very stern expression. She was pacing, and firing questions at Vern who attempted to calm her down. He assured her that the two men suspected nothing was wrong, and were still willing to close the deal. Elise walked up to the glass, staring at Mr. Gilroy, who now had a bandaged shoulder.
"If this goes through, Vern... if we can get funding from these men we will be able to do so much more. We just have to keep them happy. And him alive."
In room 149 Tom Gilroy breathed in and out, while incredible changes occured inside of him.4 Comments:
Also, Jean - I assume that is Mr. Johnson? Usually Jean is used as a woman's name - "Gene" is the male equivalent. usually. ^^
Also, i noticed the setting of your paragraphs is centered, but perhaps you want it that way.
that's all the nitpicking i have. i await the next chapter!
psykadelicbutterfly, at
9:28 PM
Since I have to write on Notepad to have cut/paste capability, I usually forget about spellcheck on blogger.
Red Fog boy. Mr. Avery happens to look into a room filled with a red fog. The boy who is inside the room sees Mr. Avery and turns into a cloud of the same fog. Kind of like how Nightcrawler would teleport and leave some smoke behind, except red fog boy doesn't teleport. I put this character into the story to establish the level of fantasy attributed with the alterations that occur at this institute. I say that they are rooms, but they are really cells. Perhaps I should have said that in the story.
Jean is SOOOO a guy name too. Example - Jean Reno, the famous actor. It's French. Deal with it. ^_^ And Jean is Mr. Avery.
CheeseShaman, at
9:45 PM
Good stuff! Keep up the good work.
well.
someone's hackles were raised. *hiss* hehe
the centeredness is in your html someplace. it'll more than likely say "center" with the word closed in by <>s. and perhaps you can give the feeling of the rooms being cells through the POV's of one of the visiting gentlemen.
and so i forgot Jean could be a man's name. I didn't think French. -.- bah!
psykadelicbutterfly, at
8:34 AM
But it was not the end.
Everything was dark. It didn’t really feel like falling, more like…floating on water. A prick on his shoulder. Pain. Something recently happened. ...Pain? I can feel! I must have…lived?
You are not dead.
I can’t have moved on to an afterlife… who are—
You will be silent now.
But I don’t understand, how can I be alive wh—a beep, and his mind felt like jelly. Sleep came quickly, but before he succumbed, all he heard was…
Begin the procedure. He is perfect for the change.2 Comments:
Who is this man, and why was he in combat with putties?
Questions that will be answered in a segment called...
Less of Self, More of Me
CheeseShaman, at
12:22 PM
Thanks for the help PB.
CheeseShaman, at
10:43 AM